Session 5, Episode 38 of the Becoming Centered podcast, moves the focus from helping kids become emotionally centered to helping kids become cognitively centered. Listening Checks are used to teach Accurate Listening. Helping kids report on various situations in a calm fashion, and recounting things in the proper chronological sequence, teaches kids to be Accurate Reporters. Identifying More Than One Possible Explanation for other people’s actions teaches them to be more Flexible thinkers. Processing after kids have calmed down from displaying problem behaviors further develops their ability to take Responsibility for their own actions. This develops the parts of their brain and psyche that are tasked with regulating their behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. There are different steps to Processing, depending on the developmental abilities of the client.

Session 6, Episode 39, goes a bit deeper into understanding the similarities and differences between Empathic Listening and Cognitive Processing. It clarifies the counselors role in exploring the “how” of feelings and leaving the “why” for therapists to explore. In other words, counselors focus on helping their child-clients to understand their feelings, especially feelings that drive problem-behaviors, as a symptom. “How often do your feel that way? How powerful is that feeling? How do you experience that feeling in your body? How do you think those feelings impact your life?” In contrast, questions like “Why do you feel that way?” make it harder for kids to think, to talk, and to learn strategies for coping with overwhelming feelings. Those “why” questions can also trigger trauma-reactions that are best addressed in a therapist’s office, not during residential hours. Eight categories of Coping Activities and seven categories of Negative Coping Actions are then presented as ways that children and youth can use various behaviors to help them tolerate their overwhelming feelings.